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I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned
by Nic Jackson at 13:50 14/07/04 (Blogs::Nic)
I had the concept that instead of paying a mechanic to change the chain and sprokets on my bike i would do it myself.

I did my research looked at the faqs, an knew exactly what to do.

So its parts ordered, now time to get some tools as i was doubtful that the token toolkit that comes with the bike is good enough to remove a 30mm sprocket screwed on with locktite and hard riding for the last 16,000 miles is good enough.

1 socket set and torque wrench later, i now need some way of raising the bike with out using a paddock stand as I read that it is easier to remove the swing arm instead of breaking the chain (this is aledgedly how BMW do the job).

Phone up Bracken do you have a bike lift, sure sir £40 to you. Great oh, will it lift my bike its on the wrong side of 200kg not exactly a featherweight motorcrosser? I dont see why not was the reply.

Up to bracken i go, pick up the bike lift, the guy shows me how to use it (on a race spec supermoto half the weight of my bike), no problem i think.

OK problem one, the sump on my BMW is about 2 inches lower than a KTM supermoto so before i could even get the lift under the bike i had to jack it up onto a paddock stand.

Problem two it is twice the weight and i havent eaten enough pies, with a bit of bouncing up and down on the lever I manage to lift the bike. Its at this point I realise that the stand is not under the pivot point and decides to try and fall off. The garage is in a place where nobody can hear you scream which is just as well as my language was colourful.

Right bit of a push and a shove get the bike on the stand, drop stand, reposition, lift, no thats not the pivot, down again, up again, down again, up and finaly ballanced.

Next try to get that bloody front sprocket off, yes i did try to use a standard socket wrench. You would be correct in thinking that it didn't move and I nearly knocked myself out when the socket wrench broke and I flew backwards to the garage floor.

I will not be beaten by some stupid nut, off to the shops again for another standard socket wrench and the best tool i have ever owned. Its like a socket wrench except it doesnt have the ratchet, and the handle is extendable to about 75 cms. I couple of tugs on my new tools and off it came (fnah fnah).

It was plain sailing from here on in, wheel out, swingarm off. Clean two years of chain oil and dirt from the shock and engine.

Front sprocket on, and torqued correctly, swingarm on, connect the shock pivot to the swingarm. About to put in rear wheel when i realise i havent put the new chain on DOH !!!.

Take it appart again, chain on, swingarm on, connect the shock pivot to the swingarm, wheel in.

A dab of grease here and a squirt of oil there and time for a test ride.

By this point i was knackered, mentally and physically. I had lost about a pint of blood but the bike was riding great.

I had saved £100 in labour even though i had bought a £150 quids worth of tools. The satisfaction was well worth it.

I was so chuffed i even decided to change the spark plug that should have been changed 21,000 miles ago. Funnily enough changing this made the bike ride better too.

The moral is im a changed man, never again will i neglect the old girl im going to keep on top of my maintenance from now. Mind you thats what i said then my front brake ceased on because the fluid had run dry and there was so much crap in the caliper : )

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Nic

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I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned Nic Jackson - 13:50 14/07/04
Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned David Crowson - 14:35 14/07/04
Would've been easier to break the chain, and probably quicker too. Next time, give us a shout and I'll show you how.....

Good effort though and welcome to the world of Brown Overall :)

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bombholio

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned Simon - 14:54 14/07/04
break the chain

Don't you know that you must *never* break, NEVER BREAK the Chain!....

Dum, duh duh dum duh duh duh dum dum... dum.
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simon

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned David Crowson - 15:04 14/07/04
Erm, but thats the standard way of replacing bike chains......

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bombholio

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned Simon - 15:06 14/07/04
You're a bassist and an F1 fan, you should have recognised the bass line I'd've thought :-)
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simon
Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned David Crowson - 15:14 14/07/04
Doh, must have been the excitement of current F1 that made me half asleep :)

BTW they never use the lyrics on F1......

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bombholio

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned David Crowson - 15:37 14/07/04
talking of which, did anyone see the WBSK's at the w/e, now that was real racing, Toseland (GBR) and Laconi (ITA) , both teams mates and 1st and 2nd in the championship, banging fairings and elbows, running each other off the track and multiple overtakes....F1 doesn't even compare...

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bombholio

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned Simon - 14:48 14/07/04
About to put in rear wheel when i realise i havent put the new chain on DOH !!!.

There's a sentence like this in any description of a procedure you've only done zero times before :-)

Here's one from me:

Blown headgasket in 1973 Innocenti Mini Cooper, apply torque wrench to 11 head stud nuts, remove carburetters, exhaust manifold, various hoses. Attempt to lift head off block - won't move, pull harder, still won't move. Apply engine hoist technology and heave.... slowly... rises... up... POP! - off comes the head which has suddenly become free because I've overcome the tensile strength of the thermostat bypass hose which is cunningly hidden (and was still connected) under the thermostat housing.

So, head now off, gasket scraped off, typical Mini head de-coking (black and decker with wire brush accessory). New gasket, head on, carburetters on, exhaust manifold on, apply torque wrench to 11 head stub nuts in *just* the right order. Done.

... or rather, not done. Have forgotten to replace the thermostat bypass hose and need to start all over again (using another new copper/ally head gasket - once they're squished, they're squished).

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simon

Re: I am a mechanical genius / The best tool i have ever owned David Crowson - 16:11 14/07/04
A Haylock of the highest order :)

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bombholio