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by Bruce Ure at 11:18 25/08/04 (Blogs::Bruce)
So there I was in Vlaardingen, on a corporate mission ostensibly to ensure that the latest European helpdesk rollout went as smoothly as possible for the Dutch. I flew over early Monday morning, did a day's unrelated work in a department on the third floor, and made the evening my own. Horror of horrors, the next morning I realised I'd not packed my deodorant.
Now, I'm not the smelliest person I know, but after a hot day in a hot office with no air conditioning, with typing arms at full tilt all day, combined with the physiological effects of stress due to rollouts going bad from their first minute, I would be prone, like any other human being, to a slight bacterial whiff. Ok, other humans might not have to deal with rollouts quite as badly organised as this one, but we all sweat, and therefore smell, without deodorant. I was not looking forward to my day. So I resigned myself to sweat and discomfort, and toddled off to the office.

This is a huge corporation, manufacturing a vast range of products and responsible for an almost endless list of global brands. I was led onto the second floor this time, and there on either side of the corridor were display shelves with various of the company's products neatly arranged. Most of them were dummies, I noted. (I'm guessing ice cream wouldn't have been very appealing after a day or so if the contents were still there.) Most of them were also arranged in such a way that at least three or four members of staff could see them from where they were sitting. And most of them were foodstuffs and cleaning products.

However, and this was just so meant-to-be I can hardly stand it, there amongst the vast array of food and detergent boxes and bottles was a range of toiletries, and in the midst of it was a deodorant stick. With contents intact. And, just about out of sight of all the members of staff. And, right outside the gents' toilet. I couldn't believe my luck.

So as I walked past and tried to convince myself this was really happening, I formulated my plan. I got to my allotted desk, told them I was going to get a coffee and have a pee, walked back down the corridor, discreetly whipped the anti-smell, nipped into the toilet, and freshened my pits like never before.

I considered afterwards how embarrassing it would have been to get caught. And then I thought about how much worse to get caught putting it back. So I decided on balance to keep it, and I will treasure it and dine out on the story (I have some pretty interesting meals) for years to come.


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GoodLuck++ Bruce Ure - 11:18 25/08/04
Re: GoodLuck++ Gordon Hundley - 15:43 25/08/04
Some day the security video of that will be on the Internet and Fox/Sky TV.
Re: GoodLuck++ Paul Wakeford - 23:41 19/12/04
Dummy deodorant is really made from yak sperm. Apparently when photographed it looks like normal deodorant whereas normal deodorant doesn't.